Two people I know - one particularly dear to me, have died within a year from each other. I  also saw a woman bleed to death on the side of the road, and I witnessed a fatal car crash on the motor-way too - all within a year of each other.
From not knowing anything of death for so long, I've suddenly been smothered in it.
It's not hard for your mind to wander into unfamiliar territories of your imagination.

If that had been me, would I have wished that I had made more of my life? Probably. Would I have been content with my life in all it's entirety? It's moments in life that we experience that make us realise what we have, and I think I would be.
It's full admittance that yeah, there have been some horrible, horrible times. Moments that hurt us so much that even the memory still painfully embers. But we live on through it, not despite it; and I'm happy I'm still alive. I'm happy that I'm still breathing, and I'm excited for the changes I've made for 2010.